Have you ever wondered why the journey of starting something new, like launching your Sleep Consulting business, feels like an emotional rollercoaster? That’s because change follows a predictable pattern known as the Emotional Cycle of Change. Whether you’re just starting your business or navigating the challenges of growing your sleep consulting business, understanding this cycle can help you anticipate the emotions that come with it and manage them more effectively.
There are five key stages in this cycle. Let me walk you through each one—knowing what to expect can make all the difference in how you handle the ups and downs of your sleep consulting entrepreneurship journey.
Stage 1: Uninformed Optimism
You came across the opportunity to become a sleep consultant and make a solid income. You did the math and realised that if you have 3 clients a month you have your investment back in no time. That’s a great side hustle!
You got excited and wanted to start as soon as possible. At that moment, you’re in Uniformed Optimism. You don’t have any idea of upcoming challenges. Your optimism is based on limited information which is often unrealistic. You don’t fully grasp what it takes, and you focus on seeing the glass half full.
But then.. as you start building your business. Challenges creep in. How to find a consistent stream of new clients, how to come across credible as the new one on the block, how to differentiate from other sleep consultants, how to create content and use social media, how to know what to do next.. waah.. overwhelm!! You thought 3x clients a month should be doable, but you didn’t realise the amount of work it takes to actually GET those clients..
Stage 2: Informed Pessimism
Welcome to stage 2… Now you have a better picture, and you understand the reality of what it takes to create that sleep consulting business. This stage is a shift to a negative emotional state.
It feels that your idea is being pushed further in time. It doesn’t feel so good and you start doubting. Questioning yourself: Fear creeps in, the fear of the sacrifices you’ll have to make, the fear of th effort you need to put in, the fear of what if it doent work out, or make you not happy?
In this phase you start doing the work, but you understand that success is not certain and certainly not immediate. And that’s when you step into the next stage, the valley of despair.
Stage 3 – Valley of Despair
This is the lowest point of the emotional cycle. And this is where many people throw in the towel. Fears, doubts, discouragement, and pessimism are the main emotions. The easiest way out is to give up. At this point, your past situation might not seem so bad. Your 9-5 seems better than it is, even though you swear to quit and start your business.
This is a crucial point.
If you quit here, you’re back to square one, starting over. You will probably have a new idea, get really excited, and start the cycle all over again, never really achieving anything.
Now, with the 3 foundational elements that I’m going to explain in a bit, you have the tools and motivation to push through this. And you leave the valley of despair towards a positive emotional space: the informed optimism stage.
Stage 4: Informed Optimism
The chance of success is on the rise. The results of your efforts are beginning to show, and the sacrifices made for change start feeling worthwhile. You know what it takes, you do what you should be doing, and you play the long-term game. The crucial thing now is to keep moving forward and focusing on the progress.
Because the summit might still be far away, and sometimes, you will have setbacks and take a little stroll in the valley of despair again. It is all about learning to enjoy the process and stick to your plan and only make changes if data shows that it’s needed.
Stage 5: Success & fulfilment
That’s it! You made it! you pushed through the hardship, you didn’t give up, you delayed gratification. And now you have a thriving business, and you feel proud and fulfilled.
Most people give up in the valley of despair (stage 3) and never reach success. They look for something easy, effortless, and certain. But they will never find it. It might take years to get to the last stage. That ‘s why it is so important to focus on the process of getting there, on the meaningful pursuit rather than on the outcome.
Knowing where you are on the cycle can be a tremendous help to stay focused and dealing with your emotions so that you stay the course and push through. This is the reality of entrepreneurship, it is a wild ride, there will be ups and downs but if you play the game long enough, you’ll create the success you desire.
So the big question here is.. how do you get yourself from phase 3 to phase 4.
And the answer is simple, it’s not having an amazing product, it’s not being super clear on your target audience – yes it is, but that’s not the most important. You need to be in complete alignment with what you’re doing..
Let’s put this to the test!
After working with hundreds of newly certified sleep consultants I can ensure that 90% of you reading this today will be opening a social media account, whether that is Instagram or Facebook or for the brave ones a Youtube channel.
Let me ask you this and be completely honest.. “How many times are you planning to post – a day, week, month?” Don’t overthink it, just stick to the first number you have in mind.
Got one?
Can you promise me to do that? Be honest. Some of you will back out already.
Can you promise me to do that for at least 3 months? A couple of more will back out.
Can you promise me to do that for 12 months? And that’s where the successful sleep consultants are.
Now of course, it’s a bit more nuanced like that, it’s not only quantity, quality is just as important, but if you show up consistently even if it would be 1 post a week, you’ll outwork anybody who is posting every day for 2 months and then is completely burned out and gives up.
Now, Instagram is just one marketing strategy, okay. There are so many more. I’ll come back to that another time. Because the question we want to answer today before we do anything else, is how do you keep yourself going when you are in the valley of despair? It’s not your beautiful website, your amazing onboarding process…
You get out of the valley of despair, if you have the following 3 things in place..
And the first one is having a FREAKING big why…
Part 1: Your WHY
So grab again your paper and a pen. And write down the answer to the following question… “Why do you want to become a Sleep Consultant?”
Write down your answer…
And then answer this same question again…
“Why do you want to become a Sleep Consultant?”
Go a level deeper
Keep going for 7 more rounds…
You probably started with helping other families get the rest they need. And I hope that you ended with what’s in it for you… more freedom, more money (nothing wrong with that!), more holidays, more time with your kids with your partner your friends…
If your final answer is not like that, please write down now at least 1 thing that is in it for you.
Now.. THAT is your why… I want you to write this sentence big, on paper, hang it on the fridge, your mirror, make it as a screen saver, do whatever you need to do, to make sure it’s on top of your mind. To often we are focused on the clients, what is their problem, what is your solution.. but those things will NOT get you out of the valley of despair, when you’re feeling stuck, when nothing is working…
Your WHY is the most important thing you should know and hold on to for dear life…
Let me ask you something else, I heard this the other day…
What’s the chance of you making 1 million dollars this year?
Write it down..
0% ?
Now I’m going to give you the most extreme example, but I want to see what this does.
What’s the chance of you making 1 million dollars this year, legally, and if you don’t everyone you love dies.
100%? – I hope so!
But how come? The goal didn’t change, the time frame didn’t change..
But now.. when you wake up in the morning, would you scroll on TikTok? Don’t think so!
Like I said, that’s extreme, but I hope you get my point…
Your WHY is everything… and if it’s not big enough, it won’t help you climb out of the valley of despair when that time comes that you work hard, but nothing seems to work…
Part 2 – Your Guiding Principles
These are the things you want to be known for… you can call them your values.. most of them align with how you work, but also how you life… the things that are important to you..
The question here is… What do you want to be known for?
Grab pen and paper and write some thoughts down.. then circle 1, 2 or 3 of these words. You can think about this a bit longer after we close this video.
To me for example, it’s simplicity, speed, and excellence.
Now the cool thing is, that these guiding principles are not only what you want to be known for, they will give you directions when you’re at a cross road.
For example.. when I’m creating a new course, I’m always thinking… is this the most simple, fastest and best way I can help my clients understand this topic? If not, I know I need to simplify it, or make it better.
But also, when I get a request from a sleep consultant certification program, which happens a lot, and they want me to share my expertise on their platform, I go back to my guiding principles, if the communication is with 3 different people, it takes weeks before getting an answer, it’s for me a sign that they don’t align with my values. And I know that reputation is EVERYTHING. And if you see me connected to that person you had a bad experience with, I know you’ll think I’m the same.
Or when I see a marketing guru tell me how to post 3 times a day that it will help my algorithm, which isn’t aligned with my way of doing it, because it’s not simple. It will take out of so much time of my day that this marketing strategy is not aligned with what I do.
Or before I send a custom sleep plan template that I’ve created, I look if it’s my standards of excellence. So you see, it’s for everything I do, these are my guiding principles.
And.. most importantly, these are not things that I share, or talk about.. it’s how I show up! It’s how I make decisions, it’s how I do my work. And then.. you get testimonials and people say, it was so easy working with rianna, she really listens to what I wanted for my website, it was so much better than I could have ever made it, she was so fast, within days i had the first draft of my logo.
Last but definitely not least, and this is one of the biggest markers to tell me if you’re going to be successful or not..
Part 3 – Your Environment
It’s your environment.. the people around you.. before I explain it to you..
I want you to grab your paper and pen and write down the names of the 5 people you spend the most time with.
Now I want you to write down a + if they are excited for you taking on this venture, becoming a sleep consultant, love to listen to what you share, are supporting you, this can be with giving you suggestions, or baby sitting, or cleaning the house so you have more time. And put a – behind their name if they are not like that, they question your choices, your decisions, they are worried about what you have to give up for that.
Done?
This is not at all a judgement towards them, or that you better than them, or whatever. It’s just an observation. The thing is… If you want to become a successful Sleep Consultant, you need people around you that will take you there.
You probably have heard that – you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. Those people shape who you are. They determine which topics dominate your attention.
Is that them being excited for you:
“You’re going to help so many people.”
“You’re such an inspiration for taking this leap into entrepreneurship”
“Can I do something to support you?”
“I know somebody who is a lawyer who maybe can help you with the contract”
Or are they protecting their worries and their story on you:
“That must be hard, not having so much time for your kids anymore.”
“I could never, have my neighbour pick up my kids while I’m at home working.”
“You quit your 9-5 with no certainty of income, and your partner supports you in this?”
The guilt what we get from that, the confusion as well, are hurting your chances of success… your success literally depends on the 5 people you spend the most time with…
You don’t have to kick them out of your life, but you need to make sure that the 5 people you spend the most time with are actually lifting you up, and inspiring you… and preferably people who are further than you… people you can follow and get inspired by…
So for each person on your list with a -, you can do two things, either spend less time with them, or spend the same amount of time with them, but add in a new person that is a + and you spend EVEN MORE time with that person.. so that automatically puts the – person to the 6th position.
So if we remove them – from your list, there are some gaps that we need to fill…
So let me ask you this…
What type of people would you need in your life, to make this sleep consulting business successful? Think of their characteristics, their vibe, their energy, their thoughts, their network, their connections. Write it down.
Awesome, now write down who YOU need to be, to have those people interested in wanting to be part of your circle. They need to have a reason to be in your circle, who do you need to be?
Awesome, so this is just a part of the strategic alignment I take my clients through, but this is the foundation. This is the basic, no need to think about your instagram grid, if you can’t get yourself out of the valley of despair when things are hard.
If you found this valuable, I recommend you check out the Sleep Consultant Business Starter: a complete step-by-step program with ready-made templates, branding strategies, and marketing systems (including a website!) to quickly (and strategically!) build a professional sleep consulting business, so you can start taking on clients asap.
